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Request Denied

By:brindigemail-
Date: Sat,22 Sep 2007
Submitter:brindigemail
Views:9837

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Dear Baby John, A few short days, your life on Earth; each filled with pain and grief. Our prayers for you remain unheard, destroying all belief. "A God of justice" we are taught, how wrong this has to be. Why injure you my baby son...just to punish me? For endless hours I've searched my mind,sincerely need to know, What have I done...how did I fail that you should suffer so? The prayer, "Please let me see him." took nearly every breath. "Request denied, Impossible." Now, there is nothing left. No picture held in memory, not smiles of joy but tears. How can I live, just can't go on to face the coming years. People say, with kindness, "You're young, can try again." Unknown to them this emptyness; unfelt, this desperate pain. How could they know my feelings while sitting in this room With tiny garments, tissue wrapped, in deep despair and gloom. The crib, sewn with such loving care; still empty, meaningless. They don't know, (how could they), this absolute distress. I just can't face the future and yet, know that I must. With false, fixed smile, "Yes, feeling fine." I lie, to my disgust. If, somehow, you can hear me, you know this is untrue; Every cell is screaming as I cry and mourn for you. Our baby son, I love you so...ache to hold your hand. "Request denied, impossible." I'll never understand. X X X
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Comments

Charles McFaulds said:

I've just read your poem with great empathy and am sorry that you are feeling the way that you are right now. I hope this poem below helps you in some way.

Much love,

Charles

The say that babies are God's little angels
Mummy please know that that is true
We choose who we want to go with
And guess what mum? I chose you!

It's true our time together was short
But that's no reason now to cry
I'd come back again in a heart beat
I promise mum that's no lie

I was only doing God's work
He told me that before I came
I know it's hard to understand
But I was never once in any pain

I'm still around you now mum
But you can't see me with earthly eyes
I watch as you go about your day
Happy to still be a part of your life

I have to tell you this mum
Remember not my death
Think of me with happiness
Rejoice that I once walked the earth

I'd do it again in a heartbeat
I promise you that's no lie
Just for you to hold me close
And soothe me as a cry

Thanks for being my mummy
You're special through and through
I'm glad that I got to meet you
I'm glad that I chose you.

(C) Charles Anthony McFaulds
Sun,27 Jun 2010,06:01:37 GMT
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