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Vulnerability

By:Stefanie Miller
Date: Sat,28 Feb 2009
Submitter:Jane
Views:5568

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I took my dogs for a walk tonight right around dusk. I was so fortunate to witness in the night sky the crescent moon (which is my mom’s favorite) with the planet of love, Venus, just above it. It was such a spectacular site, which warmed my heart! It made me feel hopeful to witness such beauty.

I must honestly admit that this week has taken its toll on me. I am so exhausted and depleted from everything that has been happening in my life and to the people I care about that I feel as if I have been hit by a bulldozer! It's not that a lot of things necessarily happened THIS week, but it has been a combination of a lot of little things piling up one on top of the other over the past couple of months, until it feels as if a boulder landed directly on top of me! It seems as if I am juggling a lot of balls in the air and I wonder how long I can keep them all going at the same time.

The mass consciousness is in such a state of confusion and upheaval. I feel as if we are all going through such major shifts at once. Not all of our situations can be labeled good or bad, although I think we tend to want to judge them! We are weeding through and sorting out so many aspects of our lives. I wake up at night halfway through a thought. I have to convince myself to let it go so that I can fall back asleep and not become overloaded with processing things during the day. I feel as if I am walking in a fog. I have made some major blunders because I can't seem to focus. The energies are so intense right now that it takes a lot of effort to figure out my priorities and accomplish much of anything.

I feel as if so much has been excavated and processed that we are at a stage of pure vulnerability. I liken myself to a tender, helpless baby. I am anything but helpless but at this stage I feel as if I am retreating into a womb-like state. I yearn to be the baby bundled up in a warm, cozy blanket and tucked into adoring parents' loving arms. I wish to be cradled, comforted and nurtured. I cuddle up in bed, with my dogs nearby, and form this protective cocoon to shield my sensitive self from the harsh energies we are experiencing.

I was driving in my car today listening to the song "Age of Aquarius" from my HAIR Musical itunes. I was singing and dancing away as I was stopped at a red light. My friend was in the car behind me laughing hysterically as she witnessed my display. I see myself as the embodiment of the flower child of the 70s, barefoot, in a long flowing dress with flowers in her hair rallying for peace, love and harmony. I dream of a utopian world where all of our needs are met, as we work together to help one another to lighten our load and make things easier for each other. I gaze through my heart at the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, where I believe peace will guide the planet and love will steer the stars.

I hold the vision of a world that is gentle and kind, filled with harmony and understanding. My heart aches seeing so much pain, frustration, sadness, fear and confusion going on around and within us. There are so many of us experiencing tough times. I wish that I could sweep it all away and bring peace, love and happiness for us all. I truly yearn for this and I nurture this creation deep within my heart.

We are at the stage where all of our defense mechanisms and ego based thinking and living is being stripped from us. We are at a phase where we must be almost defeated in order for us to let go of the old ways of doing things. We refused to make changes in our lives until we are at a point that we are not given a choice other than to change. We might not realize it, but we are at the sweet stage of surrender. In order for us to find contentment and live authentic lives we need to find a way to live in a much more simplistic way. We've complicated things to our own demise. Our system is crumbling and we are going down with it. This is not necessarily a bad thing, although it seems so right now. I truly believe that we will rebuild our lives and society with a much more solid foundation.

The message we are getting is its time to do things differently. We must take care of ourselves; tend to our physical and emotional needs, and well being. We can find ways to do with less "stuff" and enjoy the little things more. We need to find ways to preserve our planet, go green, conserve, re-use and recycle. It's time that we live with conscious awareness and mindfulness.

As we simplify our lives we will be carrying less of a burden. Right now we are in the process of releasing all the layers of our suffering. We created so many things in our lives and society, which has kept us so busy maintaining, juggling, and tending to, it only distracted us from enjoying ourselves and being at peace. We can experience love and happiness once we let go of all the things that are inhibiting and holding us back. We need to have the strength to persevere a little longer. We are at the core of our being. If we turn back now from facing our shadow side we will never get to the other side where the good stuff resides. It's worth the effort of the journey when in the end we get to sit back, enjoy, and smell the flowers.

Prayer

Dear God,

I have so many things going on in my life right now that I feel overwhelmed and frustrated. I feel like a failure sometimes because things don't seem to be the way I would want them to be. I have challenges that I'm not sure how to resolve. I feel so vulnerable, weak, and fragile right now. I can't see my way through these difficulties.

I ask for your loving presence to guide me in releasing and healing the areas of my life that are not working.

I honor all of my accomplishments and how far I've come. Show me how to take better care of myself.

I am open to receiving what I need.

I am grateful for the many blessings in my life. Thank you for guidance and protection.



And so it is.

Amen.
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