Reiki Master, Author.
I bought a couple of scratch cards today, ones that I’d not played before. They cost £3 each, and even though I didn’t have much money left for the week, the foolish, optimist and gambler part of me decided to spend £6 on these, because I might magically win the £300,000 top prize. Or, even one of the low prizes which gave me my money back. (Honestly, I’d be grateful to get any return, as I’m already worrying about the impending bills that are on their way, which I know I’m going to struggle to pay!).
I don’t often buy scratch cards, as I see them as a con, where they are designed to capture the attention of gamblers and encourage those who are short of cash, to speculate what little they have got, on the chance they may win what they need, to sort out their life. However, I always feel a sense of excitement and anticipation when I scratch these cards, because deep down I love a gamble, so I have to limit the purchase of them!
The aim of the game was to scratch off the symbols, then match them in a line of four on the grid. Bit like bingo, but using symbols instead of numbers. It felt quite strange as I scratched off the symbols on the first card, as somehow my eyes wouldn’t focus properly on the symbols. ‘What’s up with me?’ I thought. ‘Am I losing the plot?’. I recognised the deep concern in my heart that my Macular Degeneration was getting worse and spreading to the other eye, meaning I would eventually become blind! ‘Stop that!’ I told myself, as I knew worrying wouldn’t help in any way!
But I’d got the hang of it on the second card, and as hubby watched over my shoulder I loudly declared I’d completed a line. Yippee! ….That meant I’d won something! Perhaps our money-luck was changing after all! And when I crossed off the prize amount, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the prize was £100! After I double checked it a couple of times, I quickly grabbed my coat and went back to the shop to collect my winnings!
It was a cold, winters day, but I just felt warm, exhilarated and joy-filled as I quickened my pace, eager to pick up my winnings! ‘Maybe,’ I thought optimistically to myself, ‘our financial luck is really changing, and things will work out okay after all this time’. New year, new beginnings and all that – you know what I mean I’m sure!!
It felt good to be a winner, and as I handed the card to the lady behind the counter, I laughed as I said ‘I couldn’t believe it when I saw I’d won £100, as I’ve never won more than £5 on these cards before!’. I watched as she entered the serial numbers once, then twice. She said ‘Mm. It’s not showing up as a winner, are you sure you’ve got it right?’. I pointed to the winning line and prize money, so she tried again. Still not showing as a winning card…!
As she called the manager over to check it, my mind sort of went chaotic, trying to rationalise what was happening. Is their machine broke, has she put the wrong number in, is there a fault with the card, why can’t they see the winning line etc? Then, after a couple of minutes looking at it, the manager looked at me, and said the dreaded words…’You’ve scratched off a symbol that wasn’t on the list!’.
‘Aaarghhh!’ I exclaimed, not surprised really as I knew I never won anything, ever! ‘I can’t believe I’ve done that!’ I said, as I reached over to the chocolate bars. (Well, I needed something to make me feel better didn’t I?).
As I walked home, with my feelings of disenchantment, I knew it would be so easy to go into the victim thinking pattern…I’m a loser… Why don’t things work out for me…When will something good happen in my life… etc. etc! But I refrained
Cards by Chrissie Batten
from doing so, because I didn’t want to feel like a loser! I wanted to feel like a winner, and just for a short time today, because I thought I’d won some money, I did – and it felt soooo good!
Like everyone else, I want to feel safe and content, lucky and privileged. But life has been so challenging over the last few years that many of us have forgotten what it’s like to feel good feelings, as we’re so filled up with anxiety and worry most of the time, that paralyses our creativity and optimism! But it’s 2013 now, and we’ve moved into the age of Aquarius, which from what I’ve read is supposed to be better for us.
But we have to give ourselves time to change, and come to terms with the new energies that are influencing us. And whilst we are adapting our energy, we have to be mindful of the way we are thinking, as regardless of what the situation is, the way we perceive, the way we think, determines whether we feel a winner or a loser!
I felt like I was a winner today because I thought I’d won some money. I started to feel like a loser when I realised I hadn’t! I never had the money in my hand, so how can I lose it? The feelings I felt were created from the thoughts in my mind! When things worry us or disrupt our lives it’s easy to feel as though we have little control. But we have to find a way to remember that we don’t have to go down with the drowning ship (our negative thoughts). We can swim ashore using our positive thoughts as the driving force that propels us. We can save ourselves by maintaining control over thoughts that want to keep us small, miserable and powerless.
We are strong creatures, us humans. And we are programmed to survive our experiences! But getting carried along with all the fear-hype that’s being media generated at the moment will not serve us well! So it’s important to stay steady, and remain captain of your own ship – YOU! And when you feel yourself faltering, stand strong and announce ‘I know what I need, and make sure I get it! (The universe will provide eventually, somehow – honestly!).
I’m a strong believer in the power of the mind, so during the last couple of days I’d been doing some cosmic ordering. I’d asked for £250,000, which would allow me to pay off my mortgage, bills and help the family do the same. I’ve never made this request before, due to the fear associated to windfall = death = inheritance! So even though we may not be able to evoke the source, I asked that this money come from a lucky event, lottery win. Thus, whilst I know about the creative power of the mind, what I’m really doing now, is testing out this creative theory with regards to the elusive money, that is causing so many problems!
As I walked home from the shop today, without any winnings, I maintained control over my victim thinking by acknowledging just how lucky I already was, to have what I’ve got! To have love in my life, good health, my loving family and friends, and a future that contains so many infinite possibilities to create a better life for us all. ‘I AM A WINNER’, I shouted in my mind.
But alas, because I’m human, I couldn’t help but look up to the sky and let out the soft, wailing cry… ‘Dear God, just for once in my life I would like to feel what it’s like to have some luck that brings money in to help me and my family!’.
I took a deep breath, realising I must control my futility thinking. But as I looked back down I saw a black cat run across my path! ‘I wonder if that’s an omen’ I mused! ‘Mmmm. Tonight is lottery night. Maybe my numbers will be picked…..!’.
Eternal hope reigns!! Happy new year everyone!
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