The best place to find a genuine medium is either by word of mouth or through the Spiritualist church. If both of these methods draws a blank then make sure that you are not blinded by grief. Do not pay extortionate amounts of money to get a sitting, a medium worth their salt knows when doing this work that the road is not paved with gold. You are doing it for the service of others and whilst you have to make a living, if it is your calling, then you may have to have other forms of income to supplement.
Be as relaxed as possible when attending a sitting, nothing scary will happen, nothing will appear (unless you have an incredibly talented physical medium), it is simply a communication from the person you knew, but without their body – they are discarnate now. Do not go attend the sitting and say to the medium ‘I want my dad to come forward, he died of a heart attack 12 years ago, aged 62, etc., etc.’ Not only are you ‘feeding’ the medium but you will not be able to go away convinced that the contact you had was really from your father.
Where possible when you go for the sitting take a personal possession or photograph of the person that has passed to Spirit with you. The medium should hold this to ‘tune in’ and then return it to you whilst giving the evidence. The ‘Communicator’ (the person in Spirit), should be clearly described, usually it is possible to give the relationship to you, e.g. mother, father, etc., their character, personality, physical description and the reason for passing to Spirit (illness/accident) should also be available.
Largely it is not necessary for the medium to ask questions of the sitter, apart from saying ‘Can you understand this information?’. If you cannot then say so, it is up to the medium to try to sort it out with the Communicator. There should also be evidence forthcoming, such as months where relevant anniversaries were, on occasions names and even areas where they lived, hobbies they enjoyed (or didn’t!), pets and all the things that you would use to describe a person still living along with memory links such as ‘Your father says when you were a little girl you both went fishing together’, something that is unique and unusual. A reason for the Spirit coming forward is quite important too, you have come to the sitting for a reason, either you miss the person, they have just passed over or the time is important to you e.g. birthday or important event within the family. Most often the Spirit will be aware of this and mention it.
Having said this you must remember that it is impossible to guarantee that a particular person in Spirit will come forward for any medium, or if they do that they will be able to sort out your problems, give you lottery numbers or tell you who to marry. All mediumship is a form of experiment and that must be borne in mind. Although if the medium does not bring anyone through to you then you should not feel obliged to pay – more to the point the medium should not expect to be paid.
Conversely, do not test the medium, it is unnecessary. I recently had a sitting with a woman who sat in front of me with her index fingers pointing into the corners of her eyes and the remainder of her hands covering her face. When I explained that her very posture was off putting she said she didn’t want to give me any clues. Further to the point be a little forgiving, if the medium has described your father, his passing condition and his character and then happens to say he mentions the name of John and you know that John was not your father’s name, do not dismiss the information. Names and such like are very tricky to deal with and your father may simply be saying he has John with him or he remembers a friend called John.
Mediumship is a little like Chinese whispers, you do not have a spirit guide chirping in your ear with exact information – very rarely anyway – all information received through mediumship is open to the interpretation of the medium. The medium is the messenger and can and does get things wrong. Spirit on the other hand do not, if information is given to you that you cannot immediately place, either write the information down or if the reading is taped, listen to the tape again and confirm it with a relative or friend, time and time again it is proved that you will be wrong and Spirit are right.
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