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Fear of the unknown.....

By:Alun Jones
Date: Fri,19 Nov 2010
Submitter:Alun Illumine
Views:7758

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One of the challenges that we humans have to deal with is our need to control everything and need to know what’s going to happen in the future. If we know what’s coming we can better prepare for it. Can’t we? Maybe…. Maybe not.

“Forewarned is forearmed” is a great phrase that we like to use. However, let’s look at things from another perspective. If, say, 10 years ago, you knew about all the things you’re dealing with now would you have had the courage to even contemplate them, let alone engage in them! When I first started working with people development back in 1992, I had no idea then that, nearly 20 years later, I would be working for myself as a successful coach and therapist. The fears that would have plagued me would potentially have held me back. At age 21 I most certainly didn’t have the skills and experience that I do now and so wouldn’t have been ready for such a move. Do you see what I’m saying here? If we knew now, everything that we will have to deal with in the future it’s quite probable that we would feel so daunted that we would never attempt them.

Life unfolds in it’s own gentle way. In the same way that a sapling tree does not bear fruit as it needs first to grow in size, put down strong foundations, and mature, so too do we need to give ourselves a strong foundation, grow in experience, and mature.

We must learn to accept that we cannot know what things will happen to us in the future, because it hasn’t happened yet. The choices we make, moment-to-moment, will affect the future path we take and so nothing can be set in stone. That’s all part of the richness and excitement of life though, isn’t it. The not knowing can actually be fun if we allow ourselves to see it that way.

Remember a time in your life, perhaps when you were a child, when you were taken out for the day on a

surprise mystery tour or destination. Knowing that you were being taken somewhere fun but having
absolutely no idea where you were going. Chances are that there were no feelings of fear about safety or not being able to deal with it. There was joyful excitement about the wonderful time you would be having. Imagine if you could connect with those feelings and link them more with your life. So, instead of fearing not knowing, welcoming instead the unknown with a sense of excitement and anticipation. With also a deep sense of understanding that, no matter what life throws at us, we are always able to deal with it. No matter what happens, we find a way of dealing with it. Think about some of the most gruelling challenges you’ve already faced in your life where, at the time, you didn’t think you’d get through it. Clearly you did as you’re reading this now.

So rather than getting angry, stressed, and depressed about change and the unknown, instead tap into the excitement and anticipation of what might be coming, and say thank you to each situation as arrives. The better you feel in yourself, the more likely you are to attract wonderful situations to you and/or wonderful solutions to current challenges. Enjoy the unknown and create a life of delicious anticipation, knowing that, whatever happens, you’ll deal with it.
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