Everyone experiences the ups and downs of living. Whether you’re going through a change in career, starting a new business, setting yourself a goal to get fit and healthy, trying to sustain or create positive relationships or just doing your best to live a happy life day to day.
What is it that gets people through those ups and downs, and what helps people live a more emotionally balanced life? There are a number of significant factors that help us feel good and make positive decisions on our individual journeys.
1. The support of friends and family
Commonly people take on a little more than they are capable of getting done stress free. Sometimes out of love for family we try and help everyone that needs help and leave little time for ourselves. In our careers we take on a lot of work to earn a living, create the lifestyle we want or support ourselves and others financially. Some of us even keep busy as a way to put off things we don’t want to deal with. In time what starts out as a stressful day, becomes a stressful week, month or year.
Possible Action-listen to your body’s only way of letting you know you’re slightly off track-your emotions. If you start to feel resentful, stressed, angry, anxious, look at your diary and prioritise time for yourself to recharge your batteries. Explain to your friends and family that while you would love to help, your schedule is busy, and taking on more work would mean it wouldn’t be done happily or to the best of your ability. Leave a little post-it note for your husband, boyfriend or whoever you live with stating ‘if you have time could you help me with the following-making dinner, house work, washing, paying bills’. You may be surprised to find that people are more than willing to help you when they know how.
2. Knowing someone else who has been through a similar experience and has gotten to where you want to be.
Naturally when were working towards a goal we have good days and bad days. Whatever desire or experience you’re moving towards, it’s useful to remember; someone has been there before you. So seek them out and find out how they moved around their obstacles and achieved their results. Just hearing common experiences is enough to keep you motivated and inspired on your own journey.
Possible Action-Make contact with that professional person, member of family, friend or whomever you think can assist you. Seek the appropriate balance between holding on and letting go in relation to your own goals.
Secondly, look at any unconscious and/or limiting beliefs you are running-Most of what we believe is possible is created from our belief system which is shaped from the stories that we tell ourselves over and over again. Have you ever taken the time to identify some of your own beliefs or fears and how they have affected where you are today? To do this simply write down any thoughts that prevent you from moving forward, and ask yourself ‘is it true?’, ‘what does thought mean to me’, ‘what evidence do I have for and against this limiting thought’, ‘how could I look at this differently’ and ‘what positive action could I take’. You may find that what you fear is your fearful thoughts, as opposed to reality.
3. A clear vision of your future
Were all moving towards something, that’s what gives our day purpose and makes life more interesting. When we have wobbly days, it’s very helpful to have a reminder of what you want, where you’re going and how good it’s going to feel when you get there.
Possible Action-Create a vision board of everything you want to be, do have or experience over the next 12 months. Have fun while you’re making it and find lots of colourful pictures from the internet and images from magazines. Place it somewhere you can see it everyday e.g. by your mirror in your bedroom. If it’s financial freedom your after ‘the secret’ has a wonderful free tool-a blank cheque. Print it off, put a figure on their and imagine all the wonderful things you could do with the money-what have you go to lose? (www.thesecret.tv)
Secondly, each month schedule a day in your diary to look back at how far you have come. As you get closer to what you think is your dream destination things might start to change, the dream may get bigger, therefore the goal moves further away again. While this is what makes life exciting it is valuable to celebrate all the steps and mile stones you have reached.
Make sure to check in with yourself, did you learn anything last month, could you use that learning to do it differently this month? Even if your circumstances are not quite as you thought they would be, you’re taking steps in the right direction. Things have either gone to plan or you have learnt what doesn’t work for you and now you can try something different.
4. The growth in your own character
Who you are is perfect just the way you are, but learning and growing as a person is what keeps us alive. As we develop wisdom and strength from life we develop faith in the universe and our ability to adapt, which again makes those ups and downs less intense.
Possible Action-Feed your mind with inspirational information about what great men and women have achieved. When you see the impact that someone’s influence has had on other people it gives you hope and helps you shift your thoughts around what is possible in the human character.
And remember that whilst reading about historical men and women inspires, we can learn a huge amount about ourselves from the people closest to us- the universe has a habit of delivering our best teachers in all ages, genders and backgrounds-so be open to learning.
I hope this writing has given you inspiration and practical tools to help you along your journey. If you would like further support book onto March’s ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway®' one day workshop. There are limited spaces available so please visit www.freespiritcoaching.co.uk for more information.
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